


Jelous; Bitter and Sweet

by Showhyuk4eva



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Chaptered, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Hyungwon is a sweetheart, Hyunwoo can't make u his mind, Idol AU, Jookyun are cute devil's, M/M, Mentiones of depression and triggers, Minhyuk has problems, Monsta X forever!, Mutual Pining, Romance, Sexual Content, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2019-02-22 00:21:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13155174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Showhyuk4eva/pseuds/Showhyuk4eva
Summary: "I think we can try again...""But hyung. I know I am annoying"He said so with a cold expression and Hyunwoo felt his hopes die."But Minhyuk...""Hyung you don't need to lie, I understand. I promise whatever this is won't affect our group...."He looked at Hyunwoo, his eyes not giving away any emotions."We are just like we were before."He then walked into the studio where everyone was waiting for them.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm trying a chaptered fic for the first time.  
> Hopefully you will enjoy!

Hyunwoo stares at Minhyuk while the latter hugs Jooheon from behind, pinching his cheeks.  
Hyunwoo feels a dull ache in his heart and decides he's had enough.  
He gets up from the table, leaving his ramen half eaten.  
“I'm going out!” He says and moves to his room to get his hoodie.

“Why are you leaving so late?” Minhyuk says from the doorway when Hyunwoo is pulling on his hoodie.  
“Why do you care?” He says in a tone harsher than he wanted.  
He sees the hurt fashion across Minhyuk's face, but before he can do anything Minhyuk goes back to join the others, his expression changing.  
“Nevermind” he whispers quietly.  
Hyunwoo walks out of the dorm feeling guilty and pissed off.  
**

It had been a good 3 hours since Hyunwoo had gone. Hoseok finally got up from the sofa saying “I'm off to bed”. Now Minhyuk sat alone waiting for Hyunwoo to return, he was still sad about what had happened before, but he wanted to talk to the other. He was worried about their leader, not just because he was their leader, but also because he was a close friend and someone Minhyuk had realized he'd fallen in love with over the three years they had come to know each other.

He never had the guts to tell the other about it though, never had he thought that Hyunwoo would actually have anything other than a brotherly affection for him, but his thoughts had been changing the past few weeks.

Hyunwoo had seemed to be showing a different attention towards him, if the way he glanced at Minhyuk now and then, with his intense gaze piercing through him was any indication.  
They had even held hands.  
They had returned from a sort of small vacation between schedules, and he had found himself thinking about what Hyunwoo would be doing quite a bit. He missed him and everytime Hyunwoo had sent him a message or replied to him messages, Minhyuk's heart had skipped a beat.

Minhyuk forced himself to not think much of it, however when he asked Hoseok if he had received texts from Hyunwoo too, he'd said no.  
So the hope Minhyuk had buried deep in his heart had grown and come out of hiding.  
Ever since then, Minhyuk had been less subtle about his attraction towards the elder, and he had hoped he could talk to him alone.  
However the other seemed to be ignoring him.

Hyunwoo never stayed alone with Minhyuk in a room long enough for them to have a conversation. Not that Hyunwoo spoke a lot anyways, but he seemed to be brushing off Minhyuk's questions or attempts at starting a conversation too.  
Minhyuk had finally decided, he would talk to Hyunwoo after dinner, he'd even got cupcakes for them to share as desert.  
But Hyunwoo had walked out in a foul temper, and Minhyuk had a gut feeling that he was the reason for Hyunwoo's bad mood.  
Minhyuk glanced at the clock again, and saw it was almost 2.  
He wanted to know if the other was safe, so he called Hyunwoo. He heard the ringtone from the kitchen and realized Hyunwoo had left his phone on the dining table in his anger and haste.  
Minhyuk knew he would be in big trouble, but he needed to check, he needed to know…..  
So he took his jacket from the racks and moved towards the door, he was going to the studio.

The studio wasn't that far, and he was standing at the entrance a few minutes later.  
He could hear Hyunwoo's deep breaths as the other practiced and saw how his muscles flexed under his tank top. Minhyuk couldn't control the instant spark of arousal spiked through him, but he kept standing at the doorway, looking at the object of his desire.  
***  
Once Hyunwoo was done, he walked up to the stereo and switched it off. His anger had been gone now, only the guilt remained.  
He knew Minhyuk had been wanting to talk to him, but he was scared of what he was feeling.  
When he was at home, all he could think of was Minhyuk and his smile, his pouty face and the plump lips he wanted to kiss so badly. Minhyuk could be very enticing and promiscuous but cute and innocent at the same time. And this duality of his caused Hyunwoo's heart to beat faster every time he thought of the other. 

But he was scared of the way he felt attracted to the other, the way he'd get aroused, just by thinking of the youngers soft skin, or the way his hair fell in messy strands on his forehead after a shower, or the way his eyes twitched once in a while, when he talked for too long, his pouty lips moving, making him look cute.

He wanted Minhyuk all to himself, he wanted to hold him to his chest, hug him tightly and shower him with affection, at the same time he wanted to wreck him, pull him apart till he was a moaning mess under his arms.

And it scared him how intense his feelings were. So it was no surprise that he almost choked when he turned around after switching off the main studio's lights, to see Minhyuk illuminated by the soft warm lights of the corridor. His hai a mess from the running he'd done to get to the studio.  
His jacket was slipping off his shoulders as always and the deep cut of his t-shirt left his collar bones exposed.  
Shownu felt himself grow hard in his pants at the sight.

“Min... Minhyuk… I didn't expect you to be here…” he said.  
“I was just worried about you hyung…” Minhyuk said, in a low voice, making him sound sort of mysterious.  
“ Well… you shouldn't have come all the way, you could have just called to ask…”  
“Left it at the dorm… hyung…” Minhyuk said, stressing on the word 'hyung’, if he wasn't mistaken, Hyunwoo thought it almost sounded seductive. Hyunwoo felt his arousal spread throughout him as he saw Minhyuk drop his jacket on his way inside.  
Minhyuk walked slowly towards Hyunwoo, and they both were quiet, as if enchanted.

“You know… you look very good while dancing, very manly…. Very… sexy…” Minhyuk said when he was a foot away from Hyunwoo.

Hyunwoo felt his body heat up, and had to physically hold himself in spot, afraid he would jump Minhyuk.

His face must have been frozen, because Minhyuk once again looked hurt.  
“Why aren't you talking to me anymore Hyung?” he said after the silence, “why are you avoiding me? Do you not like my company anymore? I thought…. Hyung you must know how I feel….”

“Don't”  
“But why?”  
“Because, I might not be able to control myself.” 

“Then please….” Minhyuk said, lifting his hand, so he could caress his Hyungs face, “don't.”

With that Hyunwoo moved towards Minhyuk, a growl escaping his lips.  
He let the youngers scent invade his nostrils before he captured his lips in a searing kiss.  
His hands ran over Minhyuk's body, fingers grazing the skin under his shirt, he felt Minhyuk shudder and heard him release a desperate moan.  
Hyunwoo wanted to hear Minhyuk's voice all day and night long if it sounded like that.  
He bit the youngers lip before moving lower, nipping and sucking on the others skin, making him moan in pleasure.  
“Mmm...Hyung, I've wanted kiss you for so long….” Minhyuk said, making Hyunwoo pull him closer by his waist, kissing him on the lips again.

“ Take this off…” he managed to croak out while pulling his tank top over his head. Hyunwoo then pulled Minhyuk close again, his hands gripped Minhyuk's ass as he took on of his nipples in his mouth.  
“Ah...hyung!” Minhyuk cried out, his hand clutching Hyunwoo's hair now.  
Hyunwoo caught a glimpse of them in the studio’s mirror and felt his fear from before grip him again.  
He pushed at Minhyuk till the other had moved away with a showed look on his face.  
“We can't do this….” Hyunwoo heard himself say, however he was only thinking about how Minhyuk's expression changed…

“B...but why?”  
Minhyuk looked like a kicked puppy, his eyes watering now… “why can't we do this? Hyung I really really…”  
“Don't say it!”  
“BUT WHY?” Minhyuk said feeling the hurt stab at him, his voice desperate now.

“I don't want to”  
Hyunwoo said in a serious voice, he sounded so sure, as if he'd already made up his mind, but inside he felt a storm.

Minhyuk now felt anger creeping into his mind,  
Why was Hyunwoo being so hard headed. It was obvious they felt attracted.  
“Don't lie! I know you feel the same way about me. Why are you denying the attraction?!”

“Look even if we are attracted to each other, it's not like whatever this was would last. It's not like I love you or anything…  
Like can you imagine that?”  
Hyunwoo said in a stoic voice, forcing himself to not look at the younger.

He then moved to pick his water bottle and a towel form the floor and proceeded to wallk out.

He didn't see how Minhyuk slid to the ground feeling hollow inside.  
Hyunwoo was much more than a crush for him, he was a friend, someone he could lean on for support. And hearing him say these things, put a lot of doubts in his mind.

Then something Minhyuk had not let himself feel for a long time attacked his mind again.  
He started remembering all the hateful things people had said about him.  
He felt himself slipping into the downward spiral again, he felt himself doubting everything everyone had ever told him.  
He started feeling useless….  
He started feeling alone.

Pulling his legs up to his chest he just sat in the centre of the room and watched his reflection in the mirror with hollow eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a small chapter, like a small update on how our darlings are coping.   
> I'll have more interesting stuff in the next chapter.

Minhyuk had changed, he was acting different and it bothered Hyunwoo.  
He watched the younger play around with the maknaes at the fan sign, however when he walked into the backstage to go to the bathroom he saw Minhyuk's expression drop as if he were wearing a mask.  
What worried him more was the fact that he had seen it happen before.   
He knew how the younger had been hurting inside, but hid it from the others till it had started eating him up from within, affecting his mental and physical health.  
Hyunwoo felt worry and regret grip his heart at the realisation that what he'd said to Minhyuk in the studio a week back might have had a role in how he was acting these days.  
He didn't realize he had zoned out with his thoughts and felt someone tapping his shoulder…  
“Hey! I asked like a million times, are you listening?” Kihyun said, with an annoyed face.  
“Sorry, sorry…. What is it?”  
“What's up with Minhyuk? Do you know what's bothering him?   
I put cucumbers in his omelette today, and he ate the whole thing… didn't even utter a word.”  
The fact that this information caused more worry to Hyunwoo made him panic, in a rush he got up mumbling something like… “I need to pee” and rushed backstage.

What had he done!

A second later he met Minhyuk closing the bathroom door. He looked around to see Hyunwoo.  
“Oh hyung!” He said with a practiced enthusiasm and smile that didn't reach his eyes.  
“Min…”  
“Do you know where they've kept the refreshments, I'm feeling quite thirsty.” Minhyuk spoke to Hyunwoo, however he felt like the younger was looking past him.  
“No…but I….”  
“ No problem, I'll ask Hoseok.”   
Saying that Minhyuk avoided the other and Hyunwoo felt pain stab at his heart.

He had broken something, and he didn't think it could be fixed.

A few hours later they were all sitting in the van, on the way back to their dorms.   
Minhyuk sat at the back of the van, wanting to be alone. He felt like crying, but he held it in.   
He was done being vulnerable in front of others. He didn't want to be hurt again. It had happened enough times for him to realize the only way he would be able to protect himself was if he closed himself off.  
So that's what he did.   
He didn't need people, he didn't need love, he didn't need affection, he didn't need support.  
He had decided he would be enough for himself.

But Minhyuk was intense and emotional. So when his heart ached everytime he acted cute and funny in front of the fans, he'd remember how he had left that vulnerable part of himself behind and how much he missed laughing genuinely.  
Minhyuk wiped the single tear that slid down his face, immediately blinking to hold back the water.   
He kept repeating in his mind.   
‘I'm not weak, and I will not cry!’

He plugged in his earphones and played his most motivating playlist.

He didn't need anyone.

 

***  
“Have you noticed how closed off Minhyuk has been lately?”  
“Yes…” Hyungwon said with a deep sigh.  
“I'm getting worried, Hyunwoo would generally come ask me if I knew anything, but this time he's keeping extremely quiet.”  
“Yes…” he said again.  
Hoseok had been wandering around him again, mumbling, and finally Hyungwon had snapped at him demanding to know what he wanted.

However looking at Hoseok's worries, Hyungwon could relate, he himself had been preoccupied with these thoughts too.

“I don't know what's wrong, but it obvious something has changed between them.”   
They were standing in the hall now, and didn't realize that Minhyuk was walking towards them.

“Do you think they had sex?!” Hoseok asked in a scandalized voice.

“No.” Minhyuk said from behind, making them jump out of their skins.  
“After all it's not like there could be anything between us…..” Minhyuk was looking past both his friends at their leader.  
“...right? Hyung?”

Minhyuk’s stare Wass piercing, and Hyunwoo felt dents in his skin.

Minhyuk then smiled sweetly Hoseok and Hyungwon…  
“Hehe, look at your expressions! Come-on, I was kidding, I managed to spook you guys.”  
He patted Hoseok's back moving towards his bedroom.  
“Goodnight guys!”   
Only Hyungwon heard how his voice broke at the end.  
He instantly knew Minhyuk was not okay. He would know….they had been really close for 6 years now.

Hyungwon turned to see their leader walk into the bathroom, his shoulders slumped.

Whatever this was had to be fixed.

“This is bad…” he said looking at Hoseok.  
“I can still feel the chills from his voice, Minhyuk isn't this scary usually… what's wrong?”  
“I've only ever seen him like this once. It's not a good sign.”

Just then Kihyun walked into the hall, an empty plate in his hand.  
“Guys, did any of you eat the lasagna I was trying to make?”  
“Nope, don't look at me!” Hyungwon said  
“Me either…” Hoseok followed  
“It wasn't Hyunwoo hyung either, he was in the gym till about 10 minutes ago”  
“I remember Minhyuk looking for something to eat.” Hyungwon said.

“Don't tell me he just ate a dish full of cucumbers…”

They all looked at each other devastated.

Something had gone horribly wrong.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slow updates guys. I'm trying to build up to something here.  
> So here's some more angst for you!  
> Also tags might change further down the line.  
> *Wink, wink*

Minhyuk stared at the mess on his bed, he was feeling very uncomfortable about it. Yesterday he'd fallen off the bed while sleeping because of how less space there was.  
Now on a normal basis he would just go snuggle up to Jooheon or Hoseok when this happened, till the point where Kihyun would nag him, but for some reason he didn't feel like it this time.   
Especially since Jooheon now had a thing going with Changkyun, and he didn't want to come in between.  
So at 11 in the night, after a long day where they had to discuss their new album, Minhyuk decided he was going to clean!

He started sorting out the clothes he'd left lying on his tiny bed.

Kihyun had a heart attack when he walked in to call him for dinner.

“What the fuck! Minhyuk are you cleaning up?”  
“Well...what does it look like?” Minhyuk said sarcastically.  
“Um….do you need help?”  
“These are my clothes, so I guess not.”  
“Oh….” Kihyun was too shocked to get affected by the sarcasm.  
“What did you need?” Minhyuk asked flatly.  
“I...I came to call you for dinner.”  
“Oh, I'll eat a little later, just want to finish this…”   
Minhyuk looked up to smile at Kihyun, only this time even Kihyun noticed his smile didn't reach his eyes…  
“Minhyuk? Is everything ok?”  
“Yes Kihyun. Why wouldn't it be?”  
“Well you just have been acting weird, not like yourself.”  
“I'm good. I just grew up a bit, God knows I needed to.” He said scoffing a bit.  
Kihyun was taken aback by his way of speaking. It felt like everything he was saying had another meaning behind it.  
But frankly, Kihyun didn't know how to help him at this point, so he did the only practical thing he could think of, he went to ask Hyungwon.  
And even if it made him uncomfortable asking Hyungwon for help! He still did, one of his friends was not fine.

“There's something wrong with Minhyuk!” He said to Hyungwon.  
Hyungwon was eating from a bag of chips, trying to decide if he should sleep or actually go eat something healthy.  
He looked at Kihyun.   
And the fact that he had come to Hyungwon asking for help meant something was really wrong.  
But Hyungwon had already noticed. So had everyone else.

“What happened?” He asked in a calm tone, for his and Kihyun's benefit.  
“He's cleaning!”  
“What?!”  
“He's cleaning his room! Hyungwon! And he said he wanted to finish before he ate!”

Hyungwon felt his worry come back. His behavior was same as it had been once before.

They had just started out as a group after their debut. Minhyuk was ecstatic in the start but a few weeks after they were done with promotions, they had been exposed for the first time to a lot of comments and thoughts about themselves.  
While most of them were good and encouraging, there were some people who weren't very nice about the negative things they had to say.   
Minhyuk had almost been eliminated in the final round of no mercy, and he always felt he didn't deserve to be in the group, but it had died down….until he started reading the comments again.

Minhyuk had gone into a downward spiral after he started reading what everyone had to say and he had started closing off himself, losing his bright side.   
However, the rest of the group was able to pull him out of it before things became worse.   
He would still get that steely look in his eyes whenever he heard a comment on the matter, but he would pull himself back out of it.

Only Hyungwon knew however, what had triggered the whole thing, what had caused him to change.  
They knew each other from before they'd debued and had become close. So Minhyuk had confided in him, he had told him how he was afraid of being rejected, how he was scared he'd not be accepted for who he is, how he wouldn't be good enough.  
And it was this that was the root to all his problems.

Hyungwon, like Hoseok or Jooheon might not show affection as physically, but he still had a lot of affection to give. And he held a lot of affection for Minhyuk, it was this affection that had let him see his friend going down a dark path before. But somehow he had missed it this time. 

“What can we do? Do you know what's up with him? I know he talks to you about things……  
Hyungwon I'm talking to you!” Kihyun said, snapping Hyungwon out of his thoughts.  
“Yes yes….i don't know” Hyungwon said a lost kind of look in his eyes.

“I know you both are close...he talks to you about things he doesn't tell anyone else…  
Don't you know what's up with him?”  
“No…” Hyungwon said, confused about Kihyun's tone.. if he wasn't so preoccupied with thinking about Minhyuk he would have thought he heard regret in Kihyun's voice.  
“I however don't think Minhyuk is in the right state of mind, and I'm scared he might have already gone down the path we all fear he can.”

“Do you mean… like from back during our debut promotions?”  
“Yes.”  
“Well that's not good…..How did none of us catch on! We had all noticed back then…..”  
“I'm also thinking the same thing.”  
“You didn't notice anything too?”  
“No Kihyun! That's what I just said!” Hyungwon got a bit offended.   
“Jeez… I just asked, what with you both being so close and all.”  
There was a pause, Kihyun's tone had once again caught his attention, more prominently this time.  
“Kihyun? Do we have a problem.”  
A pause again…  
“No… no problem….” Kihyun said, his ears however were red, as if he'd been caught doing something wrong.  
They stood in an awkward silence for a few moments, then Kihyun turned around to walk back to their hall/kitchen.  
“Well then, dinner's ready… come on.”   
Hyungwon followed him out, but made his way yo Minhyuk's room. Inside he saw the blonde man folding his clothes. The scene felt unnatural and made Hyungwon feel uncomfortable.

He needed to talk to Jooheon, this was serious.  
****  
It was late in the night, Minhyuk got up from a nightmare, yes they were back.  
He had found some of Hyunwoo's sweatshirts while cleaning up his space, and pulled one of them on heading towards the kitchen.

Oh how he wished he could snuggle up with Hyunwoo right now, his scent invading his senses as he inhaled into the sweat shirt.  
No matter how much Minhyuk denied need anyone, he knew deep down inside he needed everyone, especially Hyunwoo.  
Hyunwoo had been there for Minhyuk and helped him through some of the rough patches. He missed having his teddy bear.

Feeling his tummy grumble, he decided he'd look for something to eat. He opened the fridge, pulling out a bottle of juice, his eyes then fell on the cupcakes and he felt his eyes water, his mind running through all that had happened till now. Why did Hyunwoo have to stay those things… did he really not feel anything for him.  
Minhyuk felt his heart ache, the words running through him again.

Not wanting to hold back and feeling tired he slid down in front of the open fridge, stuffing his face with the cupcakes, and crying his eyes out.

He missed having his friends care for him, but he had to do this…. He had to become strong….  
But why did it have to be so hard!  
****

Hyungwon caught Jooheon standing outside their studio. He was watching Changkyun work on their new song…. When someone tapped his shoulder, making him yelp.

“Wow! I didn't think you'd be this big a pansy, guess I was wrong!”   
“Shut up!” Jooheon said, clutching his heart, “what is it!?”  
“Well, I just caught you drooling while watching Changkyun...so I guess...a lot…” Hyungwon said smirking, then his expression changes.  
“I would love to stand here and make you feel bad about doing that but there are some more serious things we need to talk about.”

“What's wrong?” Jooheon's expression changed, reading the atmosphere.  
“Well…. It's Minhyuk, have you noticed how he has… changed?”  
“Changed?....” Jooheon thought hard.  
He then remembered Minhyuk returning from the studio early one morning, looking tired and dead.  
He had just assumed the other was tired and had spent time practicing.  
“I'm sorry but I haven't really talk with him for the past few days…ive been a bit preoccupied…” Jooheon said, his face turning red.  
“Well I can see that! But Jooheon, Minhyuk hasn't been himself lately, if you talk to him you'll see what I mean…” Hyungwon said, his face showing his worry clearly.  
“I'm scared he's let his fears take over and has closed off towards everyone as a kind of defense. He will act normally, pretending to. Be his bubbly self, but it's all just that, an act! And it's scaring me!”

Jooheon felt guilty. He was close to Minhyuk, they were both like best friends, partners in crime, and he had ignored whatever his friend had been going through, all because he was too busy working on his love life.  
Jooheon looked at Hyungwon his expression showing how he was feeling.  
“Have you… I don't know… tried talking to him?”  
“I did, yesterday after dinner, but he wouldn't acknowledge it! He kept pretending! He knew I knew he was pretending, but he kept going. Minhyuk has never been this way before… and I don't know what yo do!” Hyungwon said…  
“Okay...okay, let me also try talking to him once….”   
“Jooheon… what if we can't help him, what if something terrible has happened?”  
“Hyungwon don't panic! He's our Minhyukie after all, we'll figure it out!   
Last time I spoke to him he was fine, he was saying he finally thought he had a chance… that he'd sorted it all out in his mind.   
I don't know what he was talking about though… but he'll be fine” Jooheon placed his hands on Hyungwon's shoulders, in an effort to calm him down.

Only if he felt the same inside.   
****

Later that day, when everyone else was busy doing their thing, Jooheon caught Minhyuk sitting alone watching something on the TV.   
He decided it was time to try and talk to him.

Taking a deep breath Jooheon moved towards the sofa.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay here's another chapter for you guys!   
> Hope you enjoy!

Minhyuk was contemplating whether he should go for a walk or just go to sleep.   
Ever since he decided he was gonna change for the better he found himself being dissatisfied with everything. Nothing seemed interesting or important enough.  
And Minhyuk was scared because of that.  
He was also very lonely.  
He used to be the kind of person who loved to talk, who loved to share, who loved to give advice.

The last piece of advice he'd given was to Jooheon a couple of badys back. Jooheon had asked his hyung what he could do, apparently Changkyun was being a bit distant.   
So Minhyuk being the romantic had urged Jooheon to not lose hope!   
“You can do it!” He'd said, looking forward to his own confession to Hyunwoo….  
The everything had gone to shit.

Minhyuk heard Jooheon approach and his mood turned sour.  
'not this again!’ he thought. Within the last few hours, both Kihyun and Hyungwon had tried to unsuccessfully talk to him about how he was behaving.  
While Kihyun had failed miserably to break through the wall Minhyuk had built, seeing how worried he had made Hyungwon had almost broken his resolve.  
If Jooheon also came up to talk to him, he knew he would break down! How could he possibly make his honey worry like this.  
The whole thing would start making him think of how his friends were worried, about how he was bothering everyone and being a burden. Then he'd start thinking of whether Hyunwoo was also worried, he knew he was worried before, but what if he didn't care enough…..the thoughts had already entered his mind….it was making him weak!   
Minhyuk was not weak.  
When Jooheon reached his friend, he saw Minhyuk hugging his legs to his chest, a pained expression on his face, while he was rocking back and forth.

Jooheon felt a tightness in his heart. His sunshine like friend was now sitting around feeling something, yet no one knew what was troubling him so….

“Minhyuk!” Jooheon said, but the other gave no response. His expression was enough to tell Jooheon he was thinking about something that was hurting him.  
So he sat down beside Minhyuk, placed his hand on the others shoulder and shook him calling out louder this time.  
“Minhyuk!”   
Minhyuk snapped out of his thoughts, he looked over to see Jooheon and for a second, he looked like his old self, a sigh leaving his lips. But then his face hardened and he was looking at his friend with empty eyes.  
It broke Jooheon's heart to see him like thins.  
“Hey…it wasn't real….whatever was troubling you...it's not real!” Jooheon said, in an attempt to get back his friend.  
“How can you know what was troubling me…” Minhyuk said his voice cold.  
Jooheon felt his eyes water.  
He felt guilty for not seeing how his friend was hurting, and for not being able to do anything about it, and Minhyuk had hit bullseye with the comment.  
“Minhyuk….why are you being like this...just talk to me!”  
Minhyuk scoffed.  
“I can't….” He said staring off into the distance. His face was hard and unemotional.  
“But...but...I want to help!” Jooheon said, his tears we're now slipping down his face.  
Minhyuk's face softened as he looked at the younger.  
He pulled Jooheon in his arms, and once the other couldn't see his face anymore, Minhyuk let the tears slip.  
“I have to do this…. Things will get better soon. Don't worry about me please.”Minhyuk said in a comforting voice.  
“We miss you! I miss you!”   
“I know…..I know..,” Minhyuk said, he let the last year slip before composing himself. “I miss me too!”  
After saying that he pulled himself appart from Jooheon and smiled at his friend, his smile however didn't reach his eyes.  
Jooheon couldn't do anything but look at his friend hopelessly.  
He felt himself dread the fact that one of his friends and closest friends was lost.

Minhyuk sensing this tried to rectify the situation…  
“So how are things going with Changkyun…”   
He thought to himself, he didn't necessarily need to sit around alone, acting like he'd lost his soul. He was stronger than that.

 

Jooheon was caught off guard with the question.  
He started blushing furiously!   
Normally, Jooheon was the kind of guy who'd play off the whole thing, acting like a stud. But his members knew him better, and he could hardly hide anything from his hyung.  
So he looked at his hands and said.  
“It's going….good…” he said, his dimples popping up.  
It warmed Minhyuk's heart to see Jooheon like this. He had been pining after their weirdly adorable maknae for a while now…  
“Is it? Have you told him yet.”  
“Yes….kinda…” Jooheon said. “We kissed yesterday. It was good”   
Jooheon had turned red by now.  
So because Minhyuk couldn't help himself hi pinched Jooheon's cheeks and smiled.  
It was genuine and felt good.  
Minhyuk decided he would allow himself to feel happy once in a while. It couldn't hurt.  
“Well, what's bothering you then…”  
“I'm shy?”  
“Your shy of what?”  
“What if he's not as into me as I am?”  
“Then give him time….” Minhyuk said.  
He felt his heart ache listening to those words.  
A few days back he himself would have followed his own advice.  
But Hyunwoo wasn't interested at all.  
It hurt to remember how excited he had been, it was all destroyed now.  
And what was worse was he still felt his heart this loudly whenever Hyunwoo was around.  
He was still in love.  
***  
Hyunwoo watched Minhyuk sitting with Jooheon. He felt a tightness in his chest.  
He no longer had a right to feel jealous, but the feeling only grew when he saw Minhyuk smile genuinely for the first time in days.  
'i want to be the one to make him smile…’ he thought as he watched them.  
He was till scared of what he felt for Minhyuk, but he didn't want this distance he'd managed to create between them.  
He missed holding the younger, whenever Minhyuk wanted to be coddled. He missed messing around and joking with him. He missed laughing with him.

Hyunwoo let out a deep sigh and walked back into their room. Hoseok was lying on his bed watching something on his phone.  
“Hey… someone looks dull as fuck!” Hoseok said looking at Hyunwoo.  
“Yeah…” Hyunwoo said, too tired to hide it.  
“What's up man?” Hoseok tried to ask.  
“It's just….nothing...im just feeling down.”  
“Is it because your worried about Minhyuk?”  
“Yes…” Hyunwoo Sid before he could stop himself.  
He decided to fuck it and talk to a friend.  
“I'm scared I might have….. messed up.”  
“Well, I did have an inkling something was up between you two.”  
“How….”   
“Come-on! You can't seriously think we haven't noticed how you look at him.” Hoseok said, giving Hyunwoo a look.  
“You were pinning after him like a love sick dog way before he started acting weird.”  
“That….. that's not true….”   
“Really, he told me you messaged him over the break, almost everyday! Hyunwoo are you denying your feelings to me or to yourself. And if you are then why? We all know Minhyuk is mad about you too…”  
“What if I mess up??”  
“Haven't you already though….what did you do anyway?”  
“I pushed him away….”  
“You did what….?”  
“I rejected him….” Hyunwoo said, the whole thing replying in his mind.  
“What?! Why?” Hoseok asked, trying to make sense of what Hyunwoo was saying.  
“I got scared, I was confused… and after we kissed I I got nervous, so I ended up saying some horrible things…. And ...and I think whatever's wrong with Minhyuk is my fault!”  
Hyunwoo sat down on his bed, realization hit him hard.   
And he had no idea what to do!  
“Hey! Breathe!” Hoseok said trying to calm the other.  
“Now listen, you can still fix this.” He spoke in a soft voice, trying to make Hyunwoo listen.  
“Go talk to him, tell him how you feel, tell him the truth.  
He is our Minhyukie after all! He'll come around!”   
Hyunwoo heard it but didn't feel an ounce of hope in his heart.  
He needed to clear his mind, he needed to think of a plan.  
“I'm going to the gym.”  
“Okay…..be careful Hyunwoo, it'll get better.”  
Hoseok said in a last attempt to make Hyunwoo feel better.  
Hyunwoo smiled at his friend.  
“Thanks Hoseok.”  
***

Minhyuk watched Hyunwoo leave the dorm room from where he sat at the couch, Jooheon had left him a while back, after he had assured him he would speak to him about his problems whenever he felt like it.  
He however was contemplating whether he should do just that or not when his eyes made contact with Hyunwoo's.  
It caught him off guard and he let slip his emotions.  
He still live Hyunwoo. And it hurt as his words kept repeating in his mind.  
'its not like it would last….’  
To think he was so close to actually saying 'i love you’ to giving himself to the man he loved.  
To have reached that level of intimacy and readiness to become more than just friends.  
He had opened himself up, laid himself bare, and Hyunwoo had rejected him.  
And it hurt, it burned his insides to think how he wasn't good enough, how he couldn't get back what he wanted to give.  
In that single moment when both looked at  
each other, Hyunwoo read Minhyuk's hurt in his eyes, and looked away immediately, guilt stabbing at him.

He needed to fix things, he needed to think of a plan.  
He walked towards the door, his heart thumping loudly.   
He would fix things.

Minhyuk on the other hand decided he needed to talk to someone, he needed help to clear a few things.   
He needed to talk to Hyungwon.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the long wait. I'll be updating soon again.
> 
> Hope you guys like this chapter.

Hyungwon was trying to relax. He was concentrating hard on reading the book in his hands. He was still concerned about Minhyuk, but something that had happened that afternoon was bothering him even more.

After talking to Jooheon he was walking out of their studio building when Kihyun caught him off guard getting off the elevator.  
It was so sudden Hyungwon was sure the shorter had seen how worried he had looked, so he found himself being crushed to death as the elevator doors closed again.

“Hey! Your crushing me…!” Hyungwon said in a somewhat irritated voice.  
“Oh, sorry.” Kihyun moved away, his face red.  
He mumbled something to himself,  
“What's up with you?” Hyungwon asked. Kihyun would never say sorry, let alone to him!  
“I was going to ask you the same.” Kihyun said, his face showing concern.  
By the time they reached their floor again, the atmosphere had turned weird. Hyungwon was still deciding what he would say when Kihyun moved to get off, he held the door, turning to look at Hyungwon.   
“You don't have to tell me if you don't want to….  
Just...I'm here if you wanna talk.” Saying that he let the doors close.  
Hyungwon stood there going back down, he didn't know what to say. Why was Kihyun being so nice all of a sudden.

Hyungwon was frowning deeply, thinking of what had happened, he didn't even realize Minhyuk walking in.  
“Caught you at a bad time have I?”  
Hyungwon looked up startled to see Minhyuk, a soft smile on his face.  
That smile got him such relief, Hyungwon hadn't even realized how worried he'd been.

“No, no…. I was just thinking about something.”

“You know you don't have to worry about me all the time. Sometimes I have to learn to look after myself.”

“Minhyuk….” Hyungwon said in an endearing voice. Minhyuk snuggled up to him, allowing himself a moment of vulnerability.  
“I know I have everyone worried.”

“Then talk to us so we can help you….”

“I have to learn to heal my own wounds, ones I have got because of my own stupidity.”   
Minhyuk said, he let out a sigh, he missed cuddling and being comforted. He had always been a person who showed his feelings physically.  
Hyungwon ran a hand through his hair.

“What are you thinking?” 

“I'm thinking of how much I miss being able to talk and laugh and just be my old self.”

“Then what's stopping you.”

“I don't want to get hurt again….”

“Minhyuk-ah…. What happened? I can't help you if you don't tell me.”

For the first time since that night Minhyuk allowed himself to be comforted. He told Hyungwon what had happened.

“Minhyuk, you should give him some more time. Maybe he wasn't ready.”

“But why should I be the one to wait, to watch? To get hurt…. Why me Hyungwon. He doesn't feel the same way, not even a little.”  
“You don't know that Minhyuk, you haven't even talked to him about it.”

“Hyungwon why are you defending him?” Minhyuk said, moving away from Hyungwon.

“Minhyuk, I don't mean it like that! Come back here.” Hyungwon said opening his arms.

But Minhyuk was done talking.  
“No… I was right. I shouldn't trust people so easily.” Minhyuk got a glazed over look.  
“Minhyuk!” Hyungwon started panicking, he had ruined the chance to talk to Minhyuk.  
“Hyungwon, you don't know how much it hurts to love someone and not be loved in return. Especially when you have to live with them.”  
Minhyuk moved to the door.

“Minhyuk don't just leave….” Hyungwon tried to save the moment, but Minhyuk had left.  
***

Hyunwoo was drinking water after his gym routine.   
His mind had been preoccupied thinking about the look that had passed between him and Minhyuk when he was leaving.  
One thing he had come to realize in these past days was that he cared about Minhyuk in a very different way than he did for his other members.  
But how much of a risk would it be to actually give in to what he was feeling, and be with Minhyuk in the way he wanted to?.  
Hyunwoo swore, he'd never had to think of anything this much before.  
He packed his bag and decided to stop by for ice cream.   
They weren't allowed Ice cream, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

A chocolate Ice cream tub in tow, Hyunwoo was walking out of the store, when he saw a cute teddy bear. It was brown and had soft fluffy fur. It wore a red bow tie and blue shorts.

Two minutes later, Hyunwoo was leaving with the soft toy too.

Maybe Minhyuk would like it, if he mustered up the courage to give it in the first place.  
****  
Changkyun was sitting in his studio, he was having a slow day.  
Not that it was anything wrong, but since they had their comeback recently they had been very busy.  
Ever since their schedules had cleared up a bit, he had been feeling weird.  
Not having to practice till your muscles burned or not having to sing till you dreamed of your lines felt oddly empty….  
So to cope with it he did what he did best, he worked on some of his personal stuff.

As he was scribbling something onto a piece of paper he heard the studio’s door creak open.  
He looked up to see Jooheon's smiling face.   
His heart suddenly started pounding inside his chest.  
Even after all this while, the other could make him this flustered.  
And he didn't even have an idea about the effect he had on the younger.  
“Hey…” Jooheon said, sitting beside him. He placed his hand gently on Changkyun's thigh.

“Hi…” Changkyun said. The air between them was a bit awkward. They hadn't talked about the kiss yet.   
Changkyun remembered being shocked when the other had tentatively pressed his lips against his. He had thought he was dreaming. He had spent so long just pining after Jooheon that something like them kissing seemed almost unreal to him.

“What are you up to?” Jooheon said in an attempt to make conversation.  
Changkyun didn't need conversation, just being in the others company was enough. But he answered anyways.  
“I'm just working on that mixtape everyone seems to be asking for.”  
“Oh! That's cool.”   
“What about you…?” Changkyun asked, he looked into Jooheon's eyes, instantly making the other blush and drop his gaze.  
Changkyun loved this side of Jooheon. He was very soft, and not everyone had the pleasure of meeting this side. Jooheon would generally be all tough and mighty, but there was this side of his personality which was cute and adorable.  
They way he smiled with rosy cheeks, feeling shy to even look at Changkyun, made his insides melt.  
He knew for a fact no one else was able to bring this side of him out.

“I was just wondering if….you’d like to go out with me?” Jooheon said, pulling Changkyun from his thoughts.  
“L...like...a date?” Changkyun stammered, being caught off guard.  
“”Y..yes…?”  
“Yes…!” Changkyun felt his heart beat faster.

“Changkyun-ah..?” Jooheon said, a few seconds later…  
“Yes?”   
“I just wanted to know….” He trailed off, looking unsure.  
“What is it Jooheon?” Changkyun asked.  
“No... nothing…” he looked at his hand on Changkyun's.   
They were quiet, and Changkyun instead of saying anything intertwined their hands in his lap, squeezed to reassure him he could say whatever was bothering him.  
“It's just…. I really like you.” Jooheon said, looking at him straight on.  
Changkyun felt breathless.  
There it was, Jooheon's intensity when he was being serious.  
He was beautiful and perfect in all his imperfections.  
Changkyun was in love.  
“I really like you too.” He said, he moved to press his lips against the other.

They stayed that way, lips connected but just taking each other in.   
They the parted.  
And Jooheon moved away, a shy smile on his red face.  
Changkyun was sure he wasn't faring too well himself either.

In a daze, he moved out from the studio and walked to the coffee maker. He would give it another hour and then go back.  
In his bubble of happy thoughts he danced towards the counter, and almost missed the sniffles he heard from their dance studio.  
He brushed it off as something he imagined as the lights were off and no one seemed to be inside. But the moment he moved a step ahead he heard it again.

So he peeped inside with the flash of his phone switched on.

In the light he caught Minhyuk, his eyes red and puffy. He was sitting in a corner, his knees pulled to his chest.  
When the older noticed the light falling on him, he quickly moved to wipe his eyes.  
He looked like a deer caught in headlights and Changkyun found his heart breaking a bit.  
His hyung was the sunshine of their group, making sure everyone was happy.  
Changkyun however didn't have a clue as to what he could do to make the situation better. He was in general a very awkward person. And not knowing how he could console his elder made him more unsure.  
But he reminded himself of all those times when Minhyuk had managed to help lift his spirits when he wasn't in a good mood. And so he forced himself to go sit beside his friend.  
He was aware, just as everyone else how Minhyuk had closed off from the others, and had been worrying just like everyone else. But seeing this hyung staring at his feet and wrapping his hands around his knees tighter made him realized what a bad state Minhyuk was in.  
So he just sat beside Minhyuk, letting the other calm down.  
Minhyuk started sniffling a moment later again and when Changkyun placed a hand on his shoulder he broke down.  
Minhyuk cried his eyes out, his sobbs shaking his body violently.  
“I don't know what wrong!” He cried out after a while. And Changkyun found himself at a loss of words.  
“I don't want to feel like this!” Minhyuk continued. “I don't want to think of these things… but I can't help it! They keep coming back to my mind. Re... reminding me how weak I am….” He sniffled again….  
His tears were flowing non-stop and Changkyun felt his chest tightening, he didn't know how he could help.  
He pulled Minhyuk closer till the other was crying on to his chest.   
Clutching his friend close, Changkyun ran his hands in circles on Minhyuk's back trying to say that he wasn't alone, that things would get better.

After what felt like hours Minhyuk moved away, wiping his eyes. It had felt good to cry and be comforted.  
He knew he was being weak, but what was done was done…  
“I'm so….”   
“Don't you dare apologize…” Changkyun heard himself say in a Stern voice.  
It surprised both of them.   
“So….”  
“Your still apologizing!” Changkyun said, looking straight at Minhyuk.  
A moment later Minhyuk started chuckling.

“You sound angry…. But you look so unsure!” Minhyuk said, between hiccups.

And Changkyun felt relief course through him.  
He hadn't realized how much he'd missed seeing the older laugh.

They sat next to each other in silence. However it was comfortable.   
“I didn't think anyone would be around….” Minhyuk said at last.  
“Well, you were wrong…” Changkyun said, not knowing what else to say.  
He pulled a chocolate out of his pocket handing it to Minhyuk.  
He didn't know he had chocolate with him.  
He hoped it wasn't too old.  
“Here, it'll make you feel better.” He said.

Minhyuk looked at the chocolate skeptically.

“It looks squished.”  
“ Well it's the best I have…”  
“Okay…” Minhyuk took it. He opened the wrapper putting a piece in his mouth.  
A few seconds later he made a face.  
“How old is this?” He asked.

Changkyun just shrugged, he got up pulling a flabbergasted Minhyuk to his feet.  
“We should be getting back now…”  
“Changkyun don't change the topic!” Minhyuk said in mock anger.  
They walked towards the exit while he grumble about being poisoned.   
“If I die tomorrow it's all on you…” he sulked.  
Changkyun just smiled, Minhyuk had slipped back into his old self unknowingly.


	6. Chapter 6

Minhyuk lay awake on his bed.   
The day had been an emotional rollercoaster for him.  
But he had decided on one thing.  
He would smile and laugh from time to time.   
It had felt amazing to joke around with Changkyun after repressing those emotions for so long.   
He knew those toxic thoughts wouldn't leave him easily, but being himself once in a while wouldn't hurt.  
When they had got back to the dorm, he had looked each of the members in the eye and smiled in an attempt to reassure them that things were okay.  
Everyone except Hyunwoo.  
He didn't know how he would handle his feelings there. So he decided some space was needed.   
Thankfully, they had just been done with the promotion of their new comeback, and with the   
New years award function and performances done, they all were enjoying a pretty relaxed schedule so he didn't need to be around Hyunwoo all the time.  
Thinking about that day still hurt a lot, but he couldn't let it affect him like this, it would ruin their groups dynamic.  
But he wasn't ready to face his feelings yet, he needed to sort out his inner turmoil first.  
He needed some distance from the rest.  
Thinking about it he fell asleep as it started getting lighter outside.  
He was being shaken awake by Kihyun when he next opened his eyes.  
“Hey, Minhyuk wake up!” He was saying.  
Groaning Minhyuk pushed himself to a sitting position. He rubbed his eyes bringing Kihyun's hand into focus.  
“The manager wants to talk to you…” he said.  
Minhyuk was too disoriented to think of what this all was about so he just mumbled into the phone.   
A few minutes later he was handing back Kihyun's phone.  
He would be going to Chilie in a week's time for the show called “law of the jungle”.  
The name only brought one thought to his mind.  
Hyunwoo had gone on it, and he'd always wished he'd be able to experience it too.  
Now he was getting a chance to do just that.  
But somehow he didn't know how to feel.  
“So what did he say?” Asked Kihyun placing a mug of milk in front of him.  
“They're casting me on law of the jungle.” He said looking up from the phone.  
“Oh!” Kihyun said.  
“Well, that's amazing isn't it?” Hoseok said from where he sat on the couch.  
“You've always wanted to go on that show…” he turned around with a smile on his face.  
“Yeah…” Minhyuk said.  
He sat there sipping his hot milk.  
It was a good news. And it would also help him with the distance he had been needing.   
He needed to figure things out.  
Hyunwoo walked into the room, he stretched revealing a sliver of his fit abdomen and Minhyuk caught himself staring.   
He looked away feeling his face heat up.  
And for once he didn't think of what had happened in the studio between them.  
“What's up?” Hyunwoo asked, looking around.  
“Well, nothing much really…” Kihyun started saying. Minhyuk cut him off.  
“I'm going on law of the jungle… I'll be leaving in a week's time.”  
He looked at Hyunwoo, and saw his face breaking into a genuine smile.  
Something tugged at his heart. Hyunwoo had known how much Minhyuk wanted to go, and the fact that he remembered it warmed Minhyuk.  
He didn't like it, he didn't want to thaw so quick. Being more annoyed at himself for letting his feelings slip through so easily.  
“Well, at least you won't have to see me around for a while…” he said getting up. He walked over to Hyunwoo.  
Looked at him.  
“You won't have to tolerate me for a while”  
“Min….”  
But Minhyuk was already walking over to the bedroom again.  
Hyunwoo looked back helplessly at Kihyun and Hoseok, but he didn't know how to fix things.  
His plan of giving the soft toy to Minhyuk had been crushed. And so had the hope he had woken up with.  
***  
Hyungwon was surprised he got up without any help, he was about to fall back on to his bed, a yawn on the way when Minhyuk peeked into the room.  
Hyungwon still felt guilty about the last time they had spoken, so he was extremely flustered when Minhyuk walked up to him.  
They stared at each other for a moment, both wondering what to say, but the Minhyuk launched himself at Hyungwon.  
He hugged the younger tightly.  
Hyungwon felt like his life was being squeezed out of him, but he didn't dare let go.  
After a while of just holding each other, Minhyuk looked up.  
“I'm sorry…” he said, his cheeks slightly pink.  
“About what?” Hyungwon asked, his heart a hundred times lighter.  
“About everything….but it's getting better.” Minhyuk said.  
“I just glad to see you smile in ernest again.”  
Hyungwon said, he then snuggled into the elder.  
“Minhyuk-ah! I was so worried. Please don't ever stop talking to us again.”  
“I promise!” Minhyuk said, and he meant it. He needed to become stronger, but he didn't need to change who he was..  
“By the way, the manager called. I'm leaving for law of the jungle next week.”  
“Oh!”  
“Yeah….”  
“That's great!”  
They both spent the rest of the morning talking about how Minhyuk would fend off bugs in the jungle.  
****  
Kihyun felt his heart ache. He told himself he should be used to the feeling by now, but it didn't help at all.  
He had gone to wake Hyungwon, it was one of his favorite tasks of the day, even though he complained about it.  
Hyungwon looked so peaceful when he slept.  
Ever since he had realized his feelings towards the other, it had become a problem keeping his feelings in check.  
So it was no surprise it had hurt when he saw Minhyuk and Hyungwon curled up together looking into the younger's phone.  
How Kihyun wished Hyungwon would let him snuggled in his arms as well.  
In the end he was just a friend, a band mate, a roommate.  
Kihyun stomped back yo the kitchen and filled a glass of water.   
His hand was shaking a bit as he felt his jealousy overwhelming him.  
Changkyun found him that way, starting off into space, a pained expression on his face.  
The first thing he thought was….’not again!’  
He walked up and lightly placed his hand on Kihyun's shoulder.  
“Hyung?!” He asked softly.  
Kihyun almost dropped his glass, the voice startling him.  
“Are you okay?”   
“Ye... yes… why are you asking?”  
“I don't know, you looked a little lost.”  
“No no, I just zoned out I guess, I'm fine…”  
Kihyun placed his glass on the counter.  
He walked back to his room.  
Changkyun was left praying for his members.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minhyuk has left for law of the jungle....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys,   
> I'm so sorry for not posting anything in such a long time. As you can tell, I've been distracted and didn't want to write something half assed.  
> Anyway, so I've found a direction for the story again and will hopefully update e more often.
> 
> Anyway here is the next chapter.  
> And also, sorry about the typos and errors, English isn't my first language so I'm not too good at it.
> 
> Also it's not been beats read so....
> 
> Anyways I'm rambling, here it is folks!

Minhyuk was frantically stuffing his bag with stuff he'd need.  
They'd received a call again saying how one member from the ‘law of the jungle’ had fallen ill, Minhyuk would be taking his place, thus preponing his trip to Chile.  
Minhyuk had mixed feelings about this…  
A knock on the door distracted him, he looked back to see Hyunwoo standing at the doorway.

“Um…” he said, Minhyuk didn't know what to make of their situation right now….  
“As you can see right now, I'm busy… can we do this later. I really don't have time.”  
“It's…. I…. Um… wanted to just give this to you…”  
Minhyuk looked at the bracelet Hyunwoo held in his hand. It was a very simple silver ring that could be hidden easily.  
Minhyuk had bought it in Abu Dhabi and given it to Hyunwoo before he left for his casting on law of the jungle.  
Seeing it again, brought this unsettling feeling in Minhyuk's chest. A few weeks back he would have welcomed the giddy feeling, but since he'd been avoiding any such reactions lately, it felt weird to him.

He reached out to take the bracelet and his fingers grazed Hyunwoos, causing a slight shiver to run down his back.

He was still for a moment, and Hyunwoo took the opportunity to circle his arms around Minhyuk's stiff body.  
“I can't force you to believe me, but I will miss you a lot. Have fun there and stay safe.” He said before moving away and out of the room.

Minhyuk just stood there, as if carved out of a stone. However inside him he felt a storm rage.

It was only when Kihyun walked in with Hoseok to see Minhyuk staring off into space that he snapped him out of the trance.  
“Why the hell are you just standing around? You don't have a lot of time…. Come on!”   
Kihyun smacked Minhyuk on the shoulder, while stuffing his bag.  
Hoseok let out a laugh at the sight…

“And I'm supposed to be his hyung….” He muttered.

“Only by a few days…. Don't start with this. Manager is waiting for you downstairs.”

With that he helped Minhyuk finish packing.  
****

Minhyuk sat next to a staff member. He was going to meet the rest of the cast at the destination directly.  
He was extremely excited, but the long flight had got him thinking about other things once the excitement had died down.  
The first thing he thought about was the hug.  
Why had Hyunwoo hugged him, he wanted to know why Hyunwoo was suddenly more affectionate.

The previous day, before he got the call they had been practicing for their stage performance at one of the award functions.  
During a short break Hyunwoo had managed to corner Minhyuk after he'd successfully avoided him throughout the day.

“Minhyuk we can't keep this up.”  
“I don't know what you're talking about Hyunwoo…” Minhyuk had said, averting his gaze….  
“I think we should put this past us… start fresh…”  
“Why does it matter to you so much?” Minhyuk almost shouted at Hyunwoo.  
It angered him so much that whatever happened between them was something Hyunwoo wanted to move past, as if it meant nothing….  
“You...it matters….we don't even talk anymore…”  
“So?... I don't have the energy to this… just figure it out yourself. I don't trust you anymore…” Minhyuk said, he knew he struck a chord with that.  
He saw Hyunwoo's eyes, he looked hurt.  
Minhyuk felt a sort of delight for a moment before realizing what he did.   
He pushed past Hyunwoo before he apologized.  
Moving back to the practice room, hating himself.

On the plane Minhyuk's mind kept drifting back to Hyunwoo's expression, he felt really bad. Nothing justified him hurting others, especially the one he loved so much.

He huffed out a sigh, feeling glad he had a free pass for the entire week and could forget about this mess.  
Right now, being away from Hyunwoo would help him sort out his feelings for the other. He didn't like how toxic he could get.  
The jungle would be a kind of welcome distraction.  
***

Hoseok sat next to Hyungwon as they both stared at Hyunwoo.  
Their leader was currently playing around with the Teddy's ears in his lap.  
He was staring at his pillow absentmindedly and didn't realize the gaze upon him

“Do you want to start or should I?” Hyungwon asked Hoseok.  
“I'll do it…” Hoseok said, then went to Hyunwoo and tapped his shoulder.  
Hyunwoo looked up at Hoseok, mind still preoccupied.

“What’s up?” Hoseok asked raising his eyebrows.  
“I think I messed up…”   
“Again?” Hoseok asked.  
Hyunwoo nodded.  
“Okay, so to be clear, no one except for us knows about what happened right?” Hyungwon asked.  
Hyunwoo just stared back at him.  
“Okay then!”  
“What did you do Hyunwoo?” Hoseok asked again.  
“Well… I wanted to clear out the air, so I went up to Minhyuk during our break yesterday and told him we should start fresh.”  
Hyunwoo sighed.  
“I think he took it the wrong way….. I wanted to say we should try it again… you know, the kiss or like hanging out. But I think he thought I meant that we need to forget this.” he had a look of hopelessness in his eyes and the other two looked at him with pity in their eyes.

They knew things had to settle down soon because they were going to get very busy with working on choreographies and music for their comeback.   
With these high stress levels it would be good for anyone….  
But they couldn't really do anything about it till Minhyuk came back.  
And so Hyungwon and Hoseok took Hyunwoo for ice cream and made sure he felt a bit better, they couldn't have their leader and friend falling ill now.  
****

Jooheon was walking towards the studio when he heard his hyung practicing in the studio.   
He loved watching Shownu dance, there was a power in the way he moved and it was always evident because of the confidence he projected while doing so.

They'd not spent a lot of time together after whatever had happened between him and Minhyuk, so Jooheon took the opportunity to go talk to him. He figured Changkyun could wait a while. Anyways he and Kihyun we're working over some stuff for the new songs.

“Hey hyung!” Jooheon called out, catching Hyunwoo's attention.  
Hyunwoo looked over at him, his face breaking into a smile.  
“Hey! How's everything?” He asked patting the younger on the back.  
“Well it's hectic… we still have a lot of work left.”  
“Yeah… the choreographies are also a little more complicated this time….”  
Hyunwoo got a far off look in his eyes…  
“Yup… Minhyuk hyung will have a tough time catching up to us…” he said.  
The room went quiet, and Jooheon realised that he'd hit a sore spot.  
“Hyung…. Don't worry… Minhyuk will come around…”  
He said trying to calm Hyunwoo down a bit.  
Hyunwoo had a frown on his face, and his eyes looked really sad.  
“I sure hope so….” Hyunwoo said looking off at the distance. A moment later he realized Jooheon stood next to him, concern etched into his face. “Hey, we'll work it out… don't stress…”   
The last thing Hyunwoo wanted was to worry another member.   
He smiled at Jooheon and pinched his cheek.  
Jooheons face broke into a smile then.  
“Also, I've noticed you and Changkyun come back late these days, I don't mean to burst your bubble… but come back earlier, you both need sleep and I don't need you to burnout…” he said patting Jooheon's back again.   
Jooheon's ears had gone red and he was blushing profoundly…  
“Okay hyung..” he said, averting his gaze.  
“Hmm…”   
They small talked a little more before Jooheon went back to work.  
Hyunwoo stood in the dance studio and looked at his reflection, remembering that day when he'd kissed Minhyuk.  
He remembered seeing their reflection together in the mirror, Minhyuk holding on tight to him.  
He wanted to go back to that moment and smack sense into himself.  
But mostly he wanted Minhyuk back in his arms. He missed him so much...


End file.
